About your recent post on awareness, I find that I am sometimes aware of things only in hindsight,
especially about motivations or acting out unconsciously. I don’t realize that until i realize I am suffering!
I don’t follow that I am always aware. Can you speak to this?
Also I am struck by just how dual seeking is! That is seeking a different or better experience, an enlightened one, perhaps?
My experience is that whenever seeking stops, I feel very vulnerable and anything I’ve been avoiding seems to emerge in clearer focus. In a way that my mind can’t comprehend.
Awareness and what it is aware of don’t seem ultimately to be different even if I persist in keeping certain things at arm’s length! This even though awareness has an open loving intimate quality, and what arises frequently feels the opposite of that.
As a seeker I tend to label anything discomforting as unspiritual and to be avoided or ignored. Yet it seems
awareness is inviting everything to its true nature and nothing need be, nor ultimately can be, avoided.
Am i making sense?
Concerning awareness and being aware, it is important to understand that you are awareness itself. Like the eternal shining sun, awareness is aware 24/7 without any interruption. This has nothing to do with thoughts about me being aware.
The fact of Awareness is awareness itself.
Trying to be aware (of motivations and/or other thoughts and feelings) is an endless task that maintains the (fictitious) separate me-entity that is trying to be aware. There is no separate self, no personal awareness and no person, period.
Once believed, thought creates the illusion of personhood.
Notice that ‘I’ refers to awareness and not to any entity. Universal borderless awareness.
It is this ‘I’, meaning awareness that is aware. Awareness is what is aware and Awareness is what I am.
You cannot improve awareness, nor can you diminish it.
Awareness IS and THAT I AM. All else is illusion.
Seeking is dual and it is illusion. Duality (separation) is fiction, the result of thought (which is like mist). Feeling vulnerable when seeking has stopped may be simply the echo of the old seeking. In time, if indeed the seeking has stopped, the echo of vulnerability will fade.
Feeling vulnerable is also illusion as what you truly are is not subject to feelings. As feelings of vulnerability arise, best is to feel it completely without any avoidance, without any thinking, without any personal intention. Simply feel it since it seems to be on board. We feel vulnerability in its entirety by pausing. We pause the tendency to want to change it. We remain still and trust the infinite invisible.
We rest in the arms of God and remain there 100%.
As of comprehending Awareness, that is not possible… in the same way that Santa Claus cannot comprehend God, cannot comprehend you. Only God comprehends God as BEEING God.
Awareness is not aware of… this or that outside of itSelf.
Awareness is eternally aware of itSelf… There is an intimacy to awareness that knows no separation. Absolute intimacy. Awareness and its subjects are one, like water is one as hydrogen and oxygen molecules.
A seeker may still label good and bad and make distinctions between spiritual and unspiritual. But in time, it becomes clear that the separate self is illusory and we fall in love with truth rather than with the tooth fairy.
Indeed, as Awareness nothing is avoided. Nothing REAl is avoided. The illusion of separation need not be avoided. Rather, see thorough it and the mirage dissolves in the seeing. The clarity of seeing is not the process of avoiding and protecting.
Remain unknowing and rest as the unknowingness that is All-knowingness, void of any mentation.