Friend: Hi Magdi, I wanted to tell you that i was contemplating yesterday and for the first time i had an awareness of my thoughts. I realized they do not hold any truth and i wasn’t identifying the I with the thoughts. I felt that all the thoughts are directly linked to the person i believed i am while actually there is an unlimited space and all thoughts are limiting. They are related to the idea that i am a person!
I saw also that thoughts are coming from nowhere and whenever a thought arises, i felt the immediate identification with it. I was aware of the identification process happening without any choice coming from me, it was just happening!
This awareness that was watching this, has no form and is silent. It does not judge anything at all! It’s just there, it’s like a backgroud where my thoughts were batteling themselves, asking questions and replying!
I felt that thoughts are dancing in this awareness, and actually i, my real i is covered up by all the agitation caused by thoughts.
Thoughts always seek something, they are covering the truth, because they are limited and they only concern is survival of this ego.
Reply: Thoughts create the person, and in the absence of such thoughts, there is no person.
You are the awareness that is aware. This awareness is untouched and untouchable by any thoughts, by any worldly events
Friend: I wanted to tell you this, and i know that my questions just add another layer on my mind, but i would like you to tell me what you think.
Yes, Awareness is beyong world activities, especially personal activity. But what’s amazing is what’s happening at this moment, life is fresh every moment. A lot of things are happening in my consciousness. My interest in my thoughts lead me far away from the truth. I sense that if i give no admiration or interest to my thought then the truth will reveal itself. I will contemplate more and die to the moment, not giving that much attention to my thoughts, stop believing in anything coming from my mind.
I have been interested in my thoughts my whole life and it didn’t work. Thoughts create more sophistication and problems. And i know that it is quite difficult to just stop being fascinated by thoughts.
Reply: Thoughts, perceptions, sensations are like images on the screen.
You are not the changing images. You are the screen. You are not the mind.
You are the consciousness, the aware presence.
Friend: Yes. The only thing that is worrying my mind and i feel it’s just a trick, is what will happen if i was totally aware? If i am not following my thoughts? There is still a feeling that thoughts do help me talk to people or deal with them or help me study. If i give up totally the belief that i am a person, i have fears that i will be free, but at the same time i will not being able to do things.
Reply: Practical thinking continues and it even becomes clearer since it is not distracted by the impression of being a person. Aldo creative thinking continues as well as rejoicing.
I have been free for many years and my mind is very clear and I function perfectly in the world. Don’t worry. Self knowledge does not debilitate you. 🙂
Friend: Great. Is your thinking coming from the idea of being a person ?
Friend: Is there an awareness of being a person ?
Reply: No. We could say that there is awareness of awareness.
Friend: I see. What is the relation between you and your thoughts ?
Reply: Peace. Wonder.
Friend: Great! Do you have a feeling that you are producing them or controlling them? From where do they come? Are they just mechanical reaction to things?
Reply: The only feeling I have is that I am in love with truth. In love with happiness, freedom, beauty. Thoughts arise as needed and when they are needed.
They arise and they serve to:
1. Contemplate truth.
2. Share truth.
3. Serve in practical communication in order top allow the body mind to function with ease and comfort.
4. Celebrate the dream.
Friend: I understand their purpose. however there is a feeling that if i lost all fears and I am free, i would speak the truth, and i would create problems for me in this country.
In order to live here, i should lie about my opinions in order not to be seen as dangerous to others. So my persona is living under a pretention and what if i spoke the truth I would be in danger.
Reply: True peace and not mind stuff (such as beliefs) does not lead to pain and sorrow.
True peace comes with wisdom and is accompanied with wisdom. Wisdom knows when to speak and when to be silent. It is best to speak when asked, and even then, intelligence is available and guides you in what to say and what not to say.
Peace, wisdom, intelligence, happiness, beauty and love … come together
Friend: I understand. Now that fear is gone. i’ll remove it completely when i contemplate.