Question from a friend:
~~~
Dear Magdi,
Although I have an intellectual understanding that I am Consciousness, I still wake up most mornings with a heaviness.
The burden of life, work, finances, what will happen to me….
There is still fear.
Thoughts automatically assume that I won’t have a great day or won’t be happy. There is an assumption that things will be a struggle and heavy.
The burden of life.
i notice the on-going judgements about people’s behavior.
I am not meeting life and people freshly.
I must remind myself again and again that I am Consciousness and am untouched by what is appearing.
Could you comment?
~~~
Dear friend,
First of all, it is important to notice that you are already the open space of awareness. Otherwise you would not even be sharing the wisdom of the question with me here.
In other words, there is already intelligence, interest and love for truth. And that is a beautiful thing.
The me-concerns are old habits rooted in the belief that I am the mortal body mind. This belief makes quite an impression and registers in the body as a me-feeling. As soon as the body comes on board in the morning, the me-feeling is there, ready to get on board.
The early morning time is an important transition whereby reminding yourself that you are the screen of awareness helps in softening the download of the program of ignorance and maintains the openness of awareness.
Consider that, although we complain about the separate me, there is a place where we love our me-stories. We maintain them throughout the day. So, there is no surprise that they get on board as soon as we wake up in the morning.
Once a peak in our pristine true nature occurs, we become drawn to the happiness, to the openness, to the freedom, to the causeless joy of our true nature.
The old assumptions of gloom and doom weaken and, in time, they are no longer believed. As the thought: “I will not have a great day today” arises, there is a giggle. The giggle that recognizes the old paradigm of the separate me, attempting to get in the driver seat.
Cherishing our interest in truth transforms it in love for truth. We can appreciate our interest in truth. It is an invitation to love, to light, to wisdom and beauty. Our perspective will shift from the gloom and doom of mortality to the openness and contemplation of the boundary less freedom of our true nature.
Keep in mind that contemplation is not merely about results. It is a journey of joy and light. Even when there are shadows, it is a journey of love. Like when you are traveling to Paris. You have to drive to the airport, register your luggage, wait at the airport, travel for hours by plane, etc… and yet, it is all part of the journey and it can be enjoyed rather than perceived as a problem.
Turning your attention to the eternity of presence brings rest to the mental projections in time.
Patience is a divine quality that can be enjoyed. You can celebrate patience and you can celebrate every aspect of the path, every turn of it, every bend of it… can be celebrated.
In time, self judgment and judgment of others ceases to be of any interest. The juices of judgment become too bitter to tolerate.
You say you do not meet life and people freshly. And that you judge other’s behavior. It is beautiful to notice that. There is innate wisdom in such a noticing. You can trust the impersonal wisdom of noticing, the wisdom of the universe, of the cosmos, of consciousness.
Trust it, welcome it, allow it… you ARE it.
Once your love for truth arises, you can nurture it as a fresh seedling. Appreciate it, celebrate it.
The love that you love is not a personal activity and once love is loved, it moves to the forefront and invites you to the celebration… the celebration of the entire journey, every bend of it, every aspect of it, every flavor of it, every nuance of it…
Step up to the celebration, open handed, open hearted…
All is well.