A conversation with a friend: About fear of losing my identity
Friend: I’d like to ask you about an experience i’ve had.
I was contemplating yesterday before sleep
and i was so focused on the awareness or space. i disregarded all thoughts
no thought appeared
but i felt a huge fear, because i felt as i was going to lose my mind
or my identity
so i stopped
Reply: You must be fearless when you contemplate the Self.
You must trust the Self absolutely
You will not regret it
If you do not fully trust the Self, you will remain in the doubt
The doubt will torture you
Friend: Yes i know but the fear was so strong, i felt that something bad will happen
because i was so focused on the awareness
Reply: Nothing bad will happen.
Trust the sages that have gone this path before you
You must be willing to abandon and let go of everything for God
Friend: Yes True! I must conquer that fear then
Reply: Not to conquer it
Let it kill you
Let it swallow you
Dive into it
Do not struggle with it
Friend: Yes I will do that
Reply: It is ignorance that dies. The illusion of separation dies.
Friend: i wanted to know what is that empty space, and why would i be afraid of it ?
Reply: Space is a metaphor for the reality of awareness, the reality of consciousness, the reality of God that is boundless, borderless
The separate me impression fears its ending…
But it is through the ending of the illusion of separation that the revelation and celebration are possible. Do not fear the ending of the illusion
Friend: I understand , yes
i felt afraid of losing that separation
without it , there would be no me
Reply: The me is the illusion.
Why hold on to the limited self?
Why hold on to limitation? The me is a limited form
That is bound by time and space….
Turn your attention to the limitless, the infinite
Friend: Yes the limitless and infinite are what’s important! this limited body and mind will soon vanish
Reply: Awareness is eternal and unchanging…. it is causeless peace and happiness
Friend: Yes and i will discover that
because until now, i can’t really understand what it means Awareness is eternal
Yes, even though everything seems so real, but in reality it’s only an illusion
Is there something i can do to understand better why everything is an illusion
it’s just life seems sometimes so real! events, people, …earth ! universe …they seem so solid
Reply: The images on the screen come and go, the screen is eternal.
Reality is the reality of consciousness, awareness.
The images on the screen are impermanent.
Notice that the changing is not the real since real cannot change or else we would not call it reality
What is real does not change
Friend: What are the images then compared to the awareness ? just as light on the screen?
Reply: Yes. Images on the screen…. the screen is the constant
The images change
Like images in a mirror
Like waves made out of water
The waves change (each wave is different) the water is changeless
Friend: I understand,
The I or awareness is what makes those images exists
Reply: Awareness is changeless
The True I
Friend: I understand better Thanks i think i was afraid of my awareness
because it seems so infinite without boundaries
Reply: That is what freedom is = NO boundaries = No jail walls
Friend: YEs and it’s funny why i or we would be afraid of freedom ?
Reply: In ignorance we imagine happiness resides in limited forms, experiences, events and we hold on. Thus the contraction is maintained and happiness eludes us.
But It is silly to be afraid of freedom since we all love freedom
The borderlessness and limitlessness of freedom
Friend: Yes, Now i will dive into it
without fears or doubts
Reply: You will not regret it
You are already the freedom that you seek.